Not Sexual – Really

Tempuratures this week have been in the mid to upper 90’s, which may not be a big deal where you’re from, but here in Seattle it’s a major event. Heck, anything in the 80’s seems like we’re being punished. Today is projected to meet or exceed the hottest tempurature ever recorded in Seattle, 100.
Last year we replaced our solid plastic kiddie pool (you know, the ones that are 5 foot in diameter and about a foot deep) with one that is a little bit larger, but the sides need inflating for “stability”. After clearing a space in the back yard, we had to actually clean the pool We took some cleaning wipes and scrubbed the dirt and grime from what would ultimately be the bottom surface of the pool. After sitting in our shed for 10 months, it sort of looked … gross.
The cleaning wipes left a residue, so while I held the pool up, Laura hosed it down. Before 3 seconds elapsed she wound up spraying me in the chest with the hose. Almost my whole front got doused. I wasn’t about to change my shirt, however, because it would evaporate soon enough.
Then we had to inflate the pool. There are three rings that need to be individually blown up. The valves are such that they need to be pinched in order to allow the air to flow in either direction. This is meant to help keep air from needlessly escape during inflation.
Laura and I each took a valve, standing in the backyard, with our heads a fraction of an inch from each other. Both of us have taken a valve into our mouths and are trying to inflate the pool. The ridiculousness of how we must have appeared got the better of Laura and she started to lose control. She was unable to hold the valve open, but was blowing with all her might, and getting red in the face. Then I had to go and say “Don’t make me say you suck at giving a blow job.” Well, that did it. She laughed. I did too, and mentioned that I simply had to put that in my blog. She was pretty much done at that point because she couldn’t suck or blow because of the laughter.