As I’m getting ready for my trip to Ireland, my wife and I are in the kitchen going over what food there is in the house. As I do 95% of the cooking, this is sort of an issue that needs to be addressed, but not really a problem.
The issue really comes down to what Laura got to feed the kids. My 6 year old son has… constipation problems. My daughter (4) and younger son (2) don’t share this biological trait. As a matter of fact, give them some grapes, and the next day they have some big bowel movements. Déla is fine, but since Ciárán is 2 and still in the process of toilet training, he’ll fill up a diaper. And by fill, I mean FILL. Parents will know what I’m referring to.
As Laura and I were in the kitchen discussing her recent trip to Costco stocking up on supplies as well as preparing for having me gone, Ciárán comes up, opens the refrigerator and asks for some grapes. He loves them, as well as oranges. I’m glad that he loves fruit, as it will serve him well throughout his life. Of course, it does provide some large and smelly results.
So Ciárán wants some grapes. That’s not a big deal, is it? Considering that I also take care of 95% of the diaper issues in the house, it could be. I am not saying this to pump up my worth in the house, but there is a division of labor, and cooking and diapers are two of my bigger tasks. Food in and food out. To balance things out, I don’t do any laundry (and with as many kids as we have, that’s a very big job).
Since Laura is pregnant, her sense of smell is heightened. It’s a weird side effect, and I don’t understand it, but it’s there. Also, she is occasionally prone to nausea. Not the regular morning sickness, which she has had, but just general nausea. You have 400 pounds of baby shoved up against your stomach an see if stuff doesn’t fit in there as well as it should.
With me being gone, diaper duty naturally will fall onto Laura. This means she is going to have to navigate around her pregnant belly to clean up whatever it is that Ciárán doesn’t manage to get in the toilet. With grapes, that’s going to be quite a lot. On top of being logistically unwieldy, she’s going to have her heightened smell and nausea to contend with. I truly feel sorry for her. I informed her that she made a mistake in getting grapes at Costco because the end result will bee unpleasant. She acknowledged this, but there was nothing to be done at this point. We laughed as I told her she should let the grapes rot, rather than feed them to Ciárán. It’s a shame when you almost consider not feeding your kids fruit for toilet convenience.