What follows is an actual exchange between myself and Tevye who is almost 6 months old. I am loosely translating his portion.
“Time to change a diaper.”
“Okay. Sounds good. I’m kind of tired of this wet diaper on my rear. HEY! HIS ISN’T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR! THE AIR IS COLD!! THIS SUCKS!!”
“Hey now, it’s going to be alright.”
“NO IT ISN’T! YOU’RE A HORRIBLE PARENT! I’M COLD! WHERE IS MY DIAPER? HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE? I AM GOING TO LET YOU KNOW JUST HOW UNHAPPY I AM WITH YOUR SERVICES AS FATHER!! THIS REALLY SUCKS! I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! GET THIS OVER WITH! WHY AREN’T YOU DONE YET? I AM UNCOMFORTABLE! I WANT TO BE DONE HERE! Oh, look, toes!”