I thought about this long and hard, and even then I’m not sure I can put this into words to convey to people, but I’m going to try.
First and foremost, every criticism you may have the Catholic Church is probably valid. I’m not going to refute any of the issues people bring up. Heck, many of those are reasons I stayed away for so long.
Let’s start there. Why did I fall away?
That is a long and complicated answer, one which involves being active in a parish and a marriage and relocation to a new city followed by a lack of active parish participation, but that’s only a small portion of the superficial reasons.
When it became my own decision to attend any type of service, I actively chose to stay away. Part of this was a reaction to my youth, wanting to forge my own path. Other spiritualities interested me, and while I didn’t actively participate or fully pursue any of them I fell into a relationship with God that I felt comfortable with.
In 1996 Laura and I went to Italy for Christmas. Our itinerary took us to Rome and while this is a whole other story in itself, we were in St. Peters Square Christmas morning while the Pope (John Paul II) gave his address. It was a moving event being with all those people and even if you don’t agree with where The Church is, it’s still the Pope. I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet the President of the United States just because I didn’t agree with him politically. It was a similar situation here, having the opportunity to see the Pope in person. And he waved to Laura. Specifically. Like I said, this is a whole other story and I’ll get to it one of these days.
But that was 1996 and it wasn’t any sort of epiphany on either of our parts. We didn’t start attending service and our mutual disdain for what the Catholic church has done made both of us uncomfortable.
About 8 years ago something happened and that is a story I won’t go into other than to point you in this direction. The bottom line was Laura started to go to the local Catholic church a couple of blocks away. There she found, well, not necessarily answers, but some solace.
We’re coming to the point of the post shortly, I promise.
While Laura went to mass, I didn’t. Then she started taking the kids. And asking me to go along. I didn’t want her to join the Catholic church. I had been there already and done that in my youth. I was more interested in a different viewpoint. There were Lutheran, Methodist and other Christian faiths in the area. I didn’t want to go attend the Catholic church again, and told her so, but she continued to attend and found more of the support she needed.
Eventually I started attending as well.
Yes, there are things I do not like about the Catholic church. Still.
But I am Catholic and am not ashamed of it.
By focusing on the negative you lose sight of the bigger picture, of the love and all the good that has been done. It took a long while for me to get comfortable with this, to look past the things I didn’t like and while they are big, they aren’t nearly as big as the positive aspects.
Ultimately what got me fully back into the fold was the idea that while there are policies I do not agree with, history that makes me ashamed, actions I do not condone being taken in my name, I am still an American. The same goes for my religion.
There is far more good out there being done and I chose to focus on that. Then there are the policies I do not agree with. Change, true change, will not come from outside forces. The change needs to come from within for it to be real, effective, lasting change. And I intend to do everything I can to work towards that change.
I speak up for those things I believe in that are contrary to the church’s teachings.
What do you want to focus on? The good or the bad? Have you made mistakes in the past? Are you living each day right now the most positive way you can? Sure, the Catholic church continues to make mistakes, some big ones, but some of them are from individuals, not the organization itself. This is a mistake that many people perpetuate. The Catholic church is so much more than the individuals. We don’t hear about the good that is being done, nor do we sing the praises of those individuals who are are doing the right thing. Instead we focus on a small minority of individuals who have done bad things and blame the entire organization for it.
And yes, there is corruption and cover-up, you’ll find this with any large organization. Any.
The good being done far outweighs the bad – and I am not saying the end justifies the means. What I am saying instead is that I will not be deterred by the bad, but actively work towards making it better. I firmly believe that politics has not place in religion and religion has no place in politics. If the Catholic church wants to not be regulated, mandated or otherwise meddled with by laws then it should stop trying to interfere with the legal process. People on the outside of the church say this, but it doesn’t mean anything. People on the inside actually get their voices heard.
America is doing some bad stuff right now as I type this. Both on an individual and institutional level. What are you doing about it? Are you leaving the country? Are you staying? Are you trying to affect change for the better? Is staying in the country condoning those actions?
What good would come of my abandoning the church? Would that send a message that change is needed? No. Would leaving the country send a message that its actions are wrong? No. What is the best way to affect a positive change? By staying in and working towards making a difference.
If you don’t believe, that’s fine, and I don’t have anything against you. Instead I address these remarks to those who are critical of the Catholic church and my participation in it.
Are you a Catholic who left the church? Why? Did you ever have faith? If not, why? What is it about the Catholic church that you are so against? Why are you so against this one organization that has done a lot of good? How can you lump all those who practice the faith in with those few, the minority who are doing or saying the things you disagree with?
I am not defending the church and all of its policies and doctrines. I am well aware of the problems there are and were. I know I have a choice, more of a choice to stay or leave the church than whether or not to leave the country over policies I disagree with. What would it accomplish? Wouldn’t it be better to help put out more positive energy? No, I am not advocating white-washing the mistakes, past or present, but instead trying to help change the things I can as well as do as much good as I can.
I remain in the church because I believe. I believe in the good that has been and continues to be done. I believe change is coming that can make things even better. I want to be there when that change takes place.