Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.
What is the last thing to go through a fly’s mind as it hits the windshield? It’s ass.
This last one is sort of paraphrased. I heard it from an Irish comedian, Dave Allen on his television series “Dave Allen At Large” – it was syndicated here in the United States in the late 70s and early 80s. I can’t seem to find a clip of this particular joke and I’ve not heard it in many years, but I loved it then and over the years I’ve only grown to love it more. I am sure I’m not doing it justice, but it goes a little something like this:
A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter is there and asks if the man would like to look around. The man agrees and the two start to wander off. They turn a corner and there’s a field full of people sitting cross-legged. The man asks,
“What’s with this group?”
Saint Peter replies “Those are some of our Buddhists. They are meditating.”
They walk on and a moment later the man asks,
“Who are these people here, and why are then all kneeling in a line?”
“Oh, those are some of the Muslims, getting ready for their prayers.”
They continue walking a bit further and come across another group. The man remarks, “They are dressed a bit odd. Who are they?”
“They are Jewish. Some are Orthodox which might be the garb you are referring to.”
A moment later the come to a large wall. It’s extremely high and stretches out in either direction as far as the eye can see. “What’s the deal with this wall?” the man asks.
“We keep most of our Christians there. They like to think they are the only ones here.”