I was late on Friday for Stations Of The Cross.
I’ll get to that in a minute.
This year I struggled with what to do for Lent. Every year I try something and it doesn’t stick. One year I tried giving up chocolate. That worked for a few weeks, but not the whole of the season. Does St. Patrick’s Day fall within Lent? There’s no way I’m giving up beer.
One of the things about Lent is to be reflective. Many believe the way to do this is to take something away, a small suffering to sort of take on a little bit of what Jesus felt. While it is more representational than actual, it helps us to serve as a reminder. That’s the theory, anyway.
We get to choose our own sacrifice.
What I decided, this year, would be instead of giving something up I would add something. This meant more of a commitment on my part. I made this decision on Ash Wednesday. Having taken Tevye (and Xavier) to the mass during the week went well enough, and I had always liked the Stations Of The Cross the school put on in the afternoons when I was able to attend. The kids put on a more interesting and meaningful presentation than the “normal” Stations Of The Cross the parish puts on in the evening.
My decision was to attend all the school-led Stations Of The Cross I could. More than simply being able to attend the Stations Of The Cross, this was more about making that commitment to go. Having a 10 month old in the house can throw off the best of schedules.
Instead of taking something away I would be adding something. What I would be doing felt more aligned with Lent and the purpose behind it all. The trick would be actually doing it. I gave myself an “out” in that I would attend those as naps permitted, meaning if Tevye was sleeping I wouldn’t wake him in order to attend. This isn’t much of an “out” though as he is usually awake from afternoon by 2 or so in the afternoon, and Stations Of The Cross begins at 2:30. Living a block away from the school & church has its advantages.
So far it has gone well. I have missed just one week when Tevye was sleeping. I had hoped to attend the school masses that take place during the week, and there were a couple, but each time Tevye was not doing well. He actually threw up once as I was about to get ready to go.
Last Friday I was late for stations, and almost missed it completely. Tevye was napping and he woke up “late” and I was thinking of not going. It would have been a heck of a lot easier for me to stay home. Then I decided I should follow through on my commitment and go. That’s when Tevye pooped.
Yes, you could say he shit all over my plans.
It was massive. That’s all I will say on the subject. By the time I got him changed and cleaned it was 2:30. I raced with the stroller out the door, down the alley, down the block, across the street, down the block, around the church and to the open door on the side of the church. The kids were just starting the 4th station. I was late.
I knew I would be late. And there was a moment just before I rushed out of the house, knowing I would be late, that I again considered not going. But I went. And I am glad I did.
Not going because I would be late would be the easy thing to do. That wouldn’t be much in the way of any sort of sacrifice. It was a little embarrassing to show up after things have started and there was not missing me as I pushed the stroller into the church. Despite being embarrassed I felt good about following through on my commitment to attend Stations Of The Cross.
There is a feeling of accomplishment for having done this – adding something attainable rather than taking something away and not having success has made my Lent experience that much more fulfilling. This coming Friday is my favorite Stations Of The Cross. The kids do a sort of shadow play every year and I have been able to attend the last few years.
Making this commitment and following through on it was important to me and my faith, but it was important to me as a parent for the kids to see me doing this. They needed to see me sticking with it and following through despite any difficulty I had.
You may not think it was a big deal, attending a weekly event in the afternoon, and in the long run it isn’t. Sometimes it takes a small success to renew a commitment and rejuvenate your faith. Attending these school-led Stations Of The Cross has done just that.