This year for Easter I was up late the night before. The reason why is unimportant and has little to do with the rest of the story. The point is, I was up very late and wound up getting just a few hours of sleep. The following story involves my nearly 5 year old, Xavier.
I set my alarm for 5 in the morning thinking it would provide me enough time to get downstairs, feed the cats then hide the eggs before getting back in bed for a few moments before the kids woke up. Waking at 5 worked out well, and I headed downstairs. I fed the cats then gathered the plastic eggs filled with candy from their hiding place then the dyed eggs from the refrigerator.
As I am outside placing the eggs, on the side of the house, about 2/3 of the way through my task I notice movement from within the house. Peeking through a crack in the curtains of the dining room window I notice Xavier. Inspecting the Easter baskets. And he is dressed.
I still have a third of the eggs to “hide” and somehow have to get around to the back of the house where I left the door open. Crap. The door is open. How can I sneak back in with Xavier between the back door and the stairs?
As this is flashing through my head I notice movement again. Xavier was headed towards the back of the house, where the open door is, effectively blocking my only entrance back into the house as well as my ability to cover my tracks.
FUCK!
I quickly start dumping eggs in groups of three in random spots along my path towards the back of the house. All the while I am looking in the windows trying to keep track of Xavier. As I approach the back door, thankfully, Xavier moves back towards the dining room to reinspect the baskets.
As I enter the house I hide/toss the bags that held the candy-filled eggs and egg cartons that held the dyed eggs onto a shelf that would not be seen without close inspection. What was I going to say? How was I going to explain what I was doing outside? What the hell was Xavier doing up already? And dressed!
Walking into the kitchen Xavier barely acknowledges me from the dining room. He wants to talk Easter baskets. I decide to bluff.
“Did you see that?”
“What?” he asks suddenly puzzled.
“I came downstairs to feed the cats,” I began truthfully, “and noticed something big and furry in the backyard.”
“No, I didn’t see anything.”
I push my luck. “Maybe it was the Easter Bunny. Or maybe just a racoon. I don’t know. It’s gone now though.”
Xavier seems to have bought it. Glossing over the fact that I was coming in from a back yard filled with eggs he points to the table and gets right to his more immediate concern.
“I don’t know which basket is mine!”