I am Catholic. I wouldn’t say I am proud to be Catholic, but on the other hand I am not ashamed to say it.
My cousin Sara identifies as Muslim, particularly of the Sufi faith. I knew of her Sufi identification, but for some reason never made the connection between Sufi and Muslim.
Sara is American – born from Americans who were born from Americans. Many of her relatives have served in defense of this country (I should write down stories of our grandfather). She is white. You look at her and you wouldn’t know on the surface what her faith is. She is “normal” in all respects. She is married. She has kids. She is… just a person.
Like you. Like me.
Unlike me, her method of worship has come under attack (again) recently. Instead of lashing out, she posted this on Facebook. With her permission I am copying and presenting it here.
————————————————————————————————–
Profile picture stolen from Facebook. Taken by Roger Sprague http://rogersprague.com/
Quite a few of my friends have asked me, ok Sara, how did you decide to be a Muslim (especially in the context of the form of Sufism that I am in). In this time of wanting to use my voice to express the spectrum, I thought I would take a moment to share. I also want to acknowledge that I firmly believe that the public discourse is really spanning a few different topics and lumping them into one. I believe we are talking about radicalism born through war, I believe we are talking about racism and I believe we are fundamentally having to look at challenges of power in the colonial hierarchy of our society that has been in process for a very long time (and I am not saying that it is Islam is the main challenge but a host of issues).I also want to preface this by, once again, expressing that I don’t speak for every Muslim, that I am in a place of being white and I am just sharing *my story*. This is important to the context. Please take the time to read others, and explore the multi-dimensions of this. We have a responsibility to our human family to dig in and get to the root of what is going on.
I belong to a school called the Sufi Ruhaniat, it’s source river is the Chisti Sufi’s and from that river there is a tributary based off of the teachings of Hazarat Inayat Khan which has a unruly creek from it that is my beloved family, the Ruhaniats that formed from Samuel Lewis’s transmission from Hazrat Inayat Khan. Murshid Sam was this wonderful human being who excelled at meeting people where they really at. He happened to be a entry point to a counter culture in California in the days of the hippies and others (but the hippie culture is important in this). When you look at Murshid’s life you see a man who cared deeply for people, was a Zen master, realized by others of heart and wanted to feed the world. All of those are part of the context of the school of Sufism I have embraced. So there is one key element that I want to say is apart of this. Hazrat Inayat Kahn, was phenomenal. He came to the states in the age of spiritualism and saw a point of entry into the hearts of people to help them develop their inner states. The US is an extremely young culture, even now. (The first nations people are not and I believe that is important to acknowledge in this). One of the things that has been a direct influence on my process was a letter that he wrote, that in the abridged version, explained why he had opened the way of Sufism to not have to be a Muslim path. My personal view, and one that I feel has support, was that he understood that this message of inner cultivation and growth could not be met by the US through the forms of a Muslim identity. He was meeting people where they where at. I know that there were other parts to that, but in the practical, I believe this was a incredibly important choice on his part.
I have grown up in the Sufi communities with a understanding that when people ask where Sufism comes from, the universal definition of Sufism that is somewhat divorced from its roots in Islam has been the answer. For many who came to this path, in my school (because that is all I can speak from) their home base faith was central to their hearts and Universal Sufism became an umbrella that they could rest under and join in community and practice. I believe that there is such a beauty in this, that it is heart achingly incredible.
After 9/11 there was a shift in my consciousness about how I fit into a country that was rapidly shifting. For the first time saying the prayers was a little nerve racking. This provided me with an incredible opportunity to begin to look at how I have embraced the ‘Sufi, but not Muslim’ space. I did not have a strong home base faith that was in-congruent with this form of Sufism. I used the words of Islam, I used the practices, and I also enjoyed the freedom of not being identified as a Muslim. Now, before I say anything else, this is my journey, how *I* had internalized this message and why it was problematic for me. It also was a key unfolding in a journey of self and reunion.
As I began to look at the tenants of Islam, not the laws but what actually makes you a Muslim, I began to understand on a deeper level what my lineage had to offer. I began to also have this reflection in my inner being, how my politics, cultural beliefs and ways of being where doing a disservice to Sufism.
Did I believe there was one God (Source) and Mohammed was a prophet? Check!
Did I believe in right action based on heart illumination? Check!
Did I believe that all of creation was a reflection of God and I had an obligation to them? Check!
Did I believe that I should stop and give thanks daily through prayer and charity? Check!
Did I believe that not only should I pilgrimage to a place of birth but to my internal place of holiness? Check!
Ok, so now I was actually getting some place. These are not the literal pillars, but they are how I began to understand them as. It also brought up a place in me that I needed to begin to unravel why for so long I clung to the need to say ‘Not Muslim’. Because clearly, upon reflection I was.
Not to get to much into the unraveling, which had a ton of political and cultural stuff around it, the real gist came surrounding my identity as a woman and my fear of being precived as ‘other’. My identity as a woman and my concept of Muslim was a tough one to unravel. I had so many conceptions about what the Quran actually said and what culturally happened. I did not want my head covered, I did not want to be submissive based on gender among other things. No matter how spiritual/evolved I am my very being is involved in the political by being human and there was no way around it.So I started to dig. What I found was a treasure trove of diverse women and perspectives that challenged my notions of freedom of expression, challenged my understanding of historical Muslim females and internal prejudices regarding people’s choices. I basically had my toosh handed to me wink emoticon but I also had a context and frame work that I could work in.
The second unraveling was even harder. Can I share with you the basic images of Muslim that have been ingrained in my psyche are so embarrassing that it makes me want to cry. I can tell you every bad action movie, every horrible stereotype and the fact they are all brown! Seriously, the ingrained racism and prejudice that I have had to root out through cultural learning is horrible. But I feel important to express because never once did my immediate family say any of those things. I have friends of all paths, cultures and ethnicity growing up as did my folks (at least as much as you can get in Idaho and Eastern WA). And yet, there was a racism and phobia that only allowed itself to emerge when I began to think of myself as a Muslim. And btw, still unraveling and will until I am long gone, I think it is just a by-product of living in a colonial society that race is a fundamental mark of hierarchy unfortunately. But it is well worth it, I actually believe our collective humanity is at stake and that is something to fight for.
So for me this is why I identify as a Muslim, it is integral to how I express my connection to my source. The words in the text inspire a feeling in my hear that is beyond words. It is the root of where I stand in my inner world. All of the other incredible knowledge and universality of my spiritual family is such a gift and only continues to expand way to hear wisdom. But for me, and the reconciliation of personal, political, cultural, worlderal (not really a word but I wanted it to rhyme) is the only way I can authentically say ‘Allah’ and be present to my responsibility to my heart and the beloveds creations.
ok if you are still reading this, thanks for hanging in there, that was a lot and obviously you totally love my guts wink emoticon