As of today it has been over a month since my last blog post. There are three primary reasons for this, some more valid than others.
First up, and initially, there is inertia. A blog at rest tends to stay at rest. But that is nowhere near the whole story.
I was gearing up for my annual Beatles Week, something I look forward to every year as an exercise in keeping up with the blog during one of the typically slowest times of year for blogging as well as celebrating and exploring my favorite band. While clearing the decks, so to speak, for this event real life managed to step in and prevent me from spending much time on the computer, let alone to write anything.
Wednesday the 23rd of December was the last day of school for the kids. Then it was on to Christmas break. First there was the call dad was not doing so well and by Friday the test results came back and it was serious. Stage 4 lung cancer.
Dad and I in Ballycastle, Ireland February of 2010
Christmas day I was on a plane to Ireland.
That week was one of the most emotionally wrenching of my life.
I was the one holding his hand as he passed away on the 30th.
There is, of course, a lot more that can and should be said about all of this. I have tried to write about this a few times but just can’t seem to get anything coherent together. Maybe I never will.
I got back home ridiculously late on the 1st, and Laura went back to work the the next day. The kids were back in school the following day, and for the first time I was really alone since his death. That was a tough day.
Of course life goes on.
There are still days when it hits me and I am momentarily immobilized. Most of the time I just keep moving forward. having a bunch of kids in the house will do that for you.
Sometimes that forward movement is at a glacial pace. Case in point – I’ve been working on this blog post for over a week.
And this is where the inertia once again rears its ugly head. I use Beatles Week to stop the inertia, but wasn’t able to partake of it this year. And now? I haven’t posted in a month, and it’s not like anybody is asking when the next post is coming.
With a few of the grandkids, Belfast, Ireland, July 2013
This brings me to the third thing about my lack of blog posts, a general malaise about posting in general. I have been getting some comments on the Facebook link to posts, not not on the posts themselves. Are people actually reading the posts or just the summary on the Facebook link? If people are just going to comment on Facebook, why not simply post there instead of on my blog?
I have been feeling this way for a while, sort of down on blogging, and was really looking forward to Beatles Week to help reinvigorate things.
Combine a malaise with inertia, then the derailment of my dad’s death, well, that brings us to today.
This is my first blog post in a month.
It’s not a good one, but it’s a start.